I want to be more than what I am. I want bigger aspirations I want to touch people that I can’t see and I want to do something that means something.
I like to discuss the meaning of life with Tali because she, without fail, tells me that there is no meaning. We live and we die and it’s that simple. The people who remember us will die too, eventually we will all die and there will no longer be a way for our names to live on. I know she is correct. Does it even matter what you do, who you love, who you touch? Those people will die and so will you and then you are forgotten anyways. I know all of this and yet it doesn’t matter to me. I still want more. I still want to do things that don't matter that no one will remember because, to reiterate, we’re all gonna die so why not? I want to do more than I am capable of. I want to be bigger and mean more. Our whole society is based off of school then a job to support the family you’re inevitably going to have then retirement and grandchildren and I hope you can get fat and happy and maybe travel until your bones give out and you need a diaper again and then you’re put into a home until you die. I don’t want those commitments. I don’t want a boring, monotonous office job. Then again, I’m not talented enough to be an actress or an artist or an author or a model or a public speaker. I probably could go to law school. I could be a lawyer or a journalist maybe. But oh my god, screw that. I can’t imagine. I would never be content. I don’t know what to do with my life and normally that bothers me but right now i’m okay with the chaos. I don’t need to know. We are all gonna die anyways, right?
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AuthorI'm Jayden, and I really like to talk. Archives
March 2019
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